Things I've learned about LOVE 💕

Happy Valentine's Day!! 

As I reflect on this day of love, I'm reminded of how much my life has changed in the past four years. Back then, I was getting ready to walk down the aisle. Now, I'm in a different relationship, happy, and healthy relationship, and that's more meaningful and healthy than any relationship I've ever had before. 

Story: I wanted to express my love for my partner on social media with the world, just like everyone else has been doing on our social media streams.... but as you may or may not have noticed, I've been far more private about my personal life on social media over the past few years. The reason is that I just don't want to deal with explaining things to people or to have to face judgment, assumptions, or negativity towards me or anyone my truth involves. That's why I posted about my love without even tagging my partner. Unfortunately, someone had to make a negative comment, but I won't let that bother me. I feel like I can be open and real with you guys, my supporters. The platform of Patreon has been like a beautiful protective island for me, healthily separating the people with whom I can be my true authentic self from the ones who aren't so awesome.  We need to protect our hearts and those we hold dear. But, at the same time, I want to encourage us all to love fearlessly and to spread our love stories to whoever wants to listen!  

Throughout my humble lifetime, I've accumulated some valuable lessons about love that I'd like to share with you. Here it goes:

• You cannot love another person entirely until you have learned to love and understand yourself. 

• Sometimes, life can move too quickly, and this can distort our perception of what love truly is. It is important to slow down, take time to reflect, and pay attention to the beauty of life. 

• However, it is essential to remember that real life is not a fantasy. You will get hurt, 

• Be thankful for every single love story you live. These stories have shaped you into who you are and helped you learn what you want (and maybe don’t want) out of a relationship.

• Love languages are a real thing. Figure yours out, and communicate it. Not everyone is a mind reader.

• Express your love in your partner's language of love.

• A love story is never perfect or pretty, as there will always be challenges. However, it's these challenges that make the love stronger over time.

• I believe in fighting for what you want. Not like scrapping in public kine fighting, but standing up and expressing to your partner what you want and believe in.

• Don’t just let something amazing slip through your fingers.

• I also believe in letting God take the lead. If things seem to not be working out, pray about it and let God take control. If God guides you to pursue something, listen to His guidance. If God tells you that something is not meant for you, then accept it, and ask to be shown what else to focus on. 

• If you feel like you have been waiting for true love forever and still haven't found it, then I believe it's God's way of telling you that you are not quite ready yet. Keep practicing loving yourself, and a relationship will come if and when the time is right.

• Don’t be afraid to love, even when you’ve had your heart broken or your ass handed to you. (Even if a tear is coming, let it flow; just don't look down...You got to keep it moving.)

• I don’t believe there is a standard amount of time you need to “get over” a breakup. Everyone is different, and we can’t compare or judge.

• Chemistry is a real ass thing. It’s either there or not.

• And there are different types of chemistry. Sexual, mental, spiritual, friend, humor… there are so many beautiful ways to connect with another human.

• Don’t be enemies with exes- be thankful for what you shared, and stay on good terms. Life is too short to have enemies.

• Jealousy is gross. Figure out what the issue is within yourself that’s causing jealousy and squash it.

• WE are the ones who establish the rules for our own relationships. Nobody else has the power to do so. As long as you and your partner are in agreement, the opinions of others should not matter. They can advise and guide you, but ultimately it is up to you guys to decide what works best for your relationship.

• Be strong when the other person is weak. And that's easier said than done sometimes cause we might get sucked into a negative vibe or 'go low' when the other is.  But when we have the other's back, no matter what, it's a beautiful balance, and you become unshakable together. 

• Remember to communicate after a fight. Take some time to recap what happened, figure out the root cause of the argument, and find a way to learn from the experience. While it might be annoying and require some effort to go through a play-by-play of what happened, it can often lead to a breakthrough in understanding either yourself or your partner.

• COMMUNICATE what you like (in bed), if you know what I mean😏 why waste someone’s time (in bed)? Stop acting or playing guessing games (in bed) and just EXPRESS what you’re into (in bed lol). That way, everyone wins! IN BED!

• You know that cliche saying, 'People come into your life for a reason, season or lifetime...' Yeah, that’s true. When you figure it out, accept it. Life is so much better once you accept it.

In conclusion, the beauty and magic of LOVE can be experienced in all its phases - before, during, and after. Along the way, you learn about yourself and grow. Finding love is just one aspect of it; being alone before that is also beautiful. Even after the end of a love story, reflecting on the experience can provide life-changing lessons that help you pave the way to a better future.

Love you all, and thanks for reading!

Sending so much love to you and yours this Valentines' Day/Night!

Aloha always,

Anuhea